the Quarantine

sigh

Wed, 18 May 2005 18:58:52 GMT

No one ever really reads these things anyway. Seems I haven't been here in over 6 months. What a shock. Suppose I don't know how to even 'use' this live journal babble. Perhaps I'll have to delve into it more. Thus, where to find the time. *shrug*

Seems as time's rapidly increasing speed terrifies me, I've nothing less to ponder.
Things I should have done, things I need to be doing.

Focusing on myself and personal progression?

As for the 'mystery girl'
She's a great pal. And we've had a few 'explicit' sessions now and again, though she's more of just someone to talk to. I fall into that realm of attraction to the opposite sex as well.

I'll be seeing "Revenge of the Sith" alone. *sigh* Nothing I haven't done before.

Party

Sat, 06 Nov 2004 20:37:26 GMT

I'm in Orange County right now. Cypress to be exact. It's my family party today and the REAL party tonight.
I've found out, she's not the little miss innocent she plays to be. I mean, I already knew she wasn't...but I've found out she likes men much more than women. Again, it has no hindrance on me whatsoever. My roommate has a chance now I'm sure. Like I said, I want in on it. And she is indeed the cutest little thing. I want her to stick around and be my pal.
She's coming tonight...

PS

Sat, 06 Nov 2004 03:05:01 GMT

Oh, and voting ages....18-29 have not increased at all since four years ago Adam

And those years....you getting older....you just spend your 20's acting like a teen again....Life's crazy.

another day nearer

Sat, 06 Nov 2004 03:03:29 GMT

In less than 48 hours, I will be another year older. *sigh* Aging sucks. Seems you spend most of your childhood pretending to be older. And for us girls, you know what I mean when I state this. Purses, and fake credit cards...stuffing your mother's bra. I have this job, and so&so is my boyfriend...and it escalates. Your teens arrive and you want to experiment with sex, drugs and whatever else is out there that you can get away with without getting caught. Just waiting impatiently for that legal drinking day. Sure you always have friends that are older to buy it for you...but it's the legality of it all. And that day comes and passes another year and you're just in awe. Wow. I just get older from here and next it's 30, 40 and 50? 60? Do you even make it to any of those ages. It's just one big question mark for it all.

My cute lil' thing came over again last night. And again we drank. Had some Ultimate AMF. With Everclear substituted for the Vodka. And let me tell you, after 2 Tom Collin's already working their way through my blood stream....woah! I was some kinda messed up. She let me kiss her a little more thoroughly. *sinister grin* and I put a little gentle groping in. Seems she's somewhat taking a liking to my roommate. Who would have guessed?!?@! hahah Not a problem. I just want to get in on some of that action! She's some peircings in all her private parts and was kind enough to show the roommate and myself...and loving breasts as much as he and I do...were awestruck and wanted to get our mouths around those cute peirced little nipples. LOL My roommate proceeded to label me this morning that I was the 'cock-blocker without a cock' and how could I please her more than he could. Anyhow, he's my pal. And I back him. No woman is worth losing friendship (genuinity in it, that is)over. She is supposed to come over tomorrow night for my little gathering. Possibly bringing a friend or couple. And we're inviting a couple of ours. Hopefully less than 10 people. It is my birthday infact and I can't not be the center of attention *said spoiledly* hahahah
As for tonight, I head to Orange County, Cypress to go to my little pub around the corner. Where I used to live when I lived with my mother. He has a rules meeting tomorrow for Lowrider and I'll spend some time with the relatives and let them spend some money on me. And around four is the B-day dinner with family and all. Ugh! And then back here for the party.

Wow, I'm shaking. Either I haven't had enough to eat or I need a drink...
...unfortunately, I think it's the drink I need.

Ventura County, California

Thu, 04 Nov 2004 20:00:46 GMT

Simi Valley

narcotic

Thu, 04 Nov 2004 19:41:41 GMT

Last night, she, the one I spoke of yesterday came to visit again. The cute little thing. Seems I hadn't scared her off as I thought I might've. heehee.
I'm quite curious of her. I'd like to know her more.
We again, like last night had a couple of drinks and had some to smoke. Even got my roommate to. Woah! He never smokes...unless there's a girl over he's trying to impress. I rarely smoke...maybe once a month even.
So it seems we have a little subliminal and unstated battle for her attention and affections. Though, me knowing him. He has only one real use for her. Damn those men. Anyhow, he'll probably win her over. He already had begun to with his talking himself up and being 'hot stuff' with Lowrider Magazine and all. Famous for building and judging hydraulic hoppers. So I think she's just cute as hell and like being around her. We've got many similarities and are practically the same size. Though my daily drinking doesn't help me out in the pants department. But in by no means at all am I 'fat' LOL

prose

she weeps into the pillow
the vapors have snuck back into her lungs again
while he's ranting to himself in the other room...
only the walls are listening, but they don't offer any sort of consolidation
comfortless,
while her face, burried into the pillows...
she faintly hears but temporarily consumed of her own lonely cries.
"there's so much inside of me" she pleads
and this time,
it's too late.

concede...

Wed, 03 Nov 2004 16:49:58 GMT

Well, damn that turd sandwich!
I'm utterly disappointed.

I had a lady friend over last night. We'd been meaning to meet for a while now. She was real cute. She was diagnosed diabetic at the young age of eight years. And has insulin shots to puncture upon herself multiple times a day. She let me watch as she stuck the syringe needle into the small bottle of liquid and drew back. Two different ones...and jabbed it right into her belly. Said she was used to things like that. I couldn't even begin to imagine what that must be like. Everyone always gawking at you because of your differences. I suppose I relate a bit from my scars...and all my tattoos. Just gives it out plainly that I'm some sort of vermin to be labeled.

Later in the evening, as usual...I ended up having too much to drink. I really need to cut back on all that....

election day

Tue, 02 Nov 2004 23:40:37 GMT

Okay.
Let me try this again. I'm rather frustrated at this juncture, after typing in a whole paragraph, beautifully written, I believe...was therefore booted offline and all text lost.
Anyhow.
I'm about as oblivious as they come to this live journal status. Just as how I will begrudgingly, apprehensively, though in all honesty admit that I can relate my obliviousness to LiveJournal as with politics. Though recently interested to (as it currently stands) my ardoration to our president. I was never a registered voter until becoming one earlier this year. I am registered as a Republican, but right away pretty much had my mind made up who I was to vote for. And when Howard Dean was cast down, I was most elated. Although, I will say he did have me giggling a bit. Thus, today I voted NO on 72...that will only cause major set backs...people will lose their full time jobs and businesses will result in hiring multiple part time employees to make up for the one solo job their full timer had previously done. Or at least that's my minuscule two cents on the matter. And the giant douche got my vote. Though I wouldn't mind hearing more and learning more of Ralph Nator.

I had this most disturbing dream the night before last, and I am definitely ashamed to be admitting this, but hey, we all have nightmares and ventures, etc we regret or don't intend on, so here it goes. I was engaging in somewhat sexual relations (no sex thank whoever...I'll honestly offer now that I'm fairly an athiest) with John Kerry and following climactic, I stated to Kerry that I was indeed a Republican and merely voting for him because I despised Bush. How Terrifying!!! So as embarrassing as that was to admit, I did. BUT! Who the f*ck's gonna really read this anyway. I can't be all that enthralling, especially with the other fifty million or so people on this d*mned thing. I thought I'd check it out and hopefully someone out there will stumble upon me and help me out a little as to actually learn how to use this little device. And lets hope won't discriminate me as to my discommoding little nightmare and my religious apprehension. Maybe it's lack of interest. Who knows...?

...where is my mind?

PS
And a note for Adam, if he ever checks this out...
I'm always saying to myself

What is really wrong with me?